Your Daughter’s a Doctor. Your Son’s an Engineer. Your Estate Planner Should Still Be a Lawyer.

Your daughter saves lives.
Your son designs infrastructure.
But when it comes to protecting your legacy—your estate planner should still be an estate planning lawyer.

I’ve seen too many families fall into this trap: a well-meaning adult child steps in to “help” with Mom or Dad’s trust. They skim the documents, read a few articles, maybe even helped a parent handle financial matters or witnessed a trust administration up close. And suddenly, they’re confident they know how yours works.

They mean well.
They’re smart.
But they’re not estate planning attorneys. And good intentions don't prevent bad outcomes.

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"I Read It. You're Fine."

One woman initially came to me thinking she might need to update her trust. But changed her mind when her son—an accomplished professional in another field—had read it and told her everything looked good.

To him, it was fine because her wishes hadn’t changed. Never mind that the plan was created over a decade ago and that laws had changed in the meantime.

But a trust isn’t just a document. It’s a legal tool that only works if:

• It reflects your current family, assets, and wishes
• It’s properly funded
• It applies with current laws and tax codes
• It coordinates with powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and real-world logistics

In this case, he had helped title his mother’s personal accounts, but listed himself and his sister as direct beneficiaries, bypassing the trust entirely. Separately, he had advised an aunt regarding her own estate to keep an account in her own name so that bills could be paid after her death.

What he didn’t realize was that both of these actions could completely defeat the purpose of a trust. For their mother, the wrong beneficiary designations meant her wishes might not be followed and could trigger unintended tax consequences. For his sister, that account structure would have frozen funds rather than keeping them accessible.

Reading a trust isn’t enough. Understanding how estate planning actually works in practice is everything.

The "Expert" Sibling Who Missed Everything

In another case I evaluated, a couple of siblings were questioning whether their brother had exerted undue influence over their aging mother.

He had accompanied her to revise her trust. Suddenly, he was named successor trustee, after years of another, more financially competent sibling holding that role. The terms of the trust had also shifted in ways that benefited him directly.

As I reviewed the evidence, I saw a familiar pattern. In his long, indignant messages, he misquoted legal principles, misunderstood his duties as a fiduciary, and made claims that simply weren’t true. At the same time, he ranted about the $600/hour attorney involved in the changes and dismissed her expertise as unnecessary—all while clearly misunderstanding the most basic elements of trust law.
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I’ll admit, it’s always a bit amusing to read someone’s unfiltered opinion about lawyers—especially when it’s clear they don’t understand the law they’re criticizing. He dismissed the attorney’s expertise as unnecessary, all while misquoting basic legal principles. The irony would be funny if it weren’t so costly for the rest of the family.

A good estate planning attorney can often save families far more money than they spend, especially when the alternative is ending up in probate due to a faulty or improperly executed plan.

Frankly, in situations like this, trying to do it yourself isn’t frugal. It’s just a bad financial decision.

He had just enough knowledge to be dangerous—not nearly enough to protect their family.

Having Exposure Isn’t the Same as Being Trained

I see this all the time: someone has been through a parent’s passing, helped settle a trust, or went to a lawyer to create their own estate plan.

They think that means they understand estate law.

But helping someone through probate doesn’t mean you know how to avoid it.

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It’s like offering medical advice without being a doctor—based on what your doctor told you and your own test results. But those results only apply to your body, not someone else’s. You have no idea what would’ve been said differently in another case. Your plan might have worked fine for your situation, but someone else’s mix of assets, beneficiaries, or state laws could change everything. Just because you’ve been through something once doesn’t mean you’re trained to guide someone else through it. Close doesn’t cut it when real knowledge, risk, and responsibility are involved.

Close isn’t good enough when the stakes are this high.

Probate Courts Are Full of DIY Mistakes

Here’s the part that too many people miss:

Probate courts are overflowing—and many of those cases involve families who thought they had a solid trust.

But the trust was unfunded. Or outdated. Or amended without proper legal advice. Or sitting in a drawer, never coordinated with real assets.

These aren’t bad families. They’re good people who relied on bad assumptions.

Here’s What to Do Instead

If your plan hasn’t been reviewed in the last three years or you’re getting guidance from anyone other than an estate planning attorney—it’s time for a checkup.

An Estate Plan Checkup is for people who already have a trust, but want a second opinion—just like you would with a medical diagnosis. Maybe your lawyer disappeared. Maybe you’re not sure it’s working. Maybe you just want clarity.

Our Estate Plan Checkup helps identify weak spots and missed steps—without pressure to restate your plan unless it’s truly necessary. It might seem like an unnecessary cost—until you realize that probate caused by a bad trust or incorrect setup could cost up to 100 times more.

Join Me for Tea & Trusts on July 23rd

If you want to learn more in a relaxed, no-pressure setting, join me for the next Tea & Trusts event on Tuesday, July 23rd.

I’ll be walking through real stories, common mistakes, and how to make sure your plan actually protects the people you love.

No legalese. Just grounded guidance—with tea.

📍 Reserve your seat here: https://bit.ly/JulyTeaandTrusts
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Or reach out to book an Estate Plan Checkup directly.

Because your family deserves more than guesswork. They deserve a plan that works when it matters most.

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